the situation

It's difficult to jump right in the middle of where I am now without some history... sometimes I wish I hadn't deleted my blog .... I'm a relationship failure to say the least. I'm not sure I'll ever get it! Anyway I'm in an almost 2 year relationship...wow it seems more like ten years.. and we live together. We have his kids every other week and I have one that lives here full time, although she's 18. (I have three other kids, two grown and one who was becoming quite the handful and unfortunately, I had to send him off to Dad's..)

It seems all the energy, drama and discord revolves around his kids and his situation.

His situation:  Was married 12 1/2 years to an evil witch who, through trickery, bore him two children. I say trickery because 3 months into the marriage he wanted out. He went to his parents and was talked into staying in the marriage by his Catholic mother.. He didn't want children with this woman, and he told her that. I think he wanted to figure a way out of the marriage that was acceptable to his parents but meanwhile, psycho decided to not take her birth control pills. Which she actually did twice, the second born after an affair that took place over a few months. Hers, not his. It was a horrible pregnancy, for HIM, because he wasn't sure if his baby was even his. I'm sure his daughter is his because certainly by now she would have told him JUST to keep him from her. They fight constantly and are now in court again suing each other over custody.

Their situation: 50/50 custody straight down the line in every aspect there could possibly be. Not one parent has more say over anything than the other (religion, school, extra curriculars, living arrangements). One week his house. One week her house. Strict drop off / pick up rules due to misbehavior on her part. Sunday 5pm to Sunday 5pm. They each get two visits during the other parent's week. Two 4 hour visits during the week between the hours of 4p-8p. Usually they e-mail each other with notification as to which two days they are requesting for their visitation.

His goal: To have a healthy "relationship" with the psycho for the best interest of the children. And that should be his goal, even if she does have snakes growing out of the top of her head. It should also be HER goal, but it's not.  Not even close.

What she does:  Takes advantage of every moment there is to manipulate, lie, trick, sneak, control and create chaos. She somehow believes she is the sole custodial parent even with a 13 page divorce decree, otherwise known as a Marital Settlement Agreement, in this state. The MSA spells out what they can and cannot do, however, psycho chooses to disobey this court ordered document on an almost daily basis.

Where they are now:  In court. Not actually today, but there always seems to be a hearing about to take place. There was a court ordered referee, but she didn't have a clue as to what she was supposed to be doing and eventually she stopped taking their calls altogether. They each had to pay her a deposit of $800 last year, and she probably did $50 worth of work. The whole thing was a joke! Her title is "parent coordinator" but she spent more time replying "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do in this situation" and ignored the rest of the e-mails / situations. (she's an attorney by the way).

Where am I? I don't know.. I feel like this 'situation' has pretty much dragged me down to a yucky place. I started off wanting to help him as I thought I should because we're in a relationship, but now that I look back, I probably shouldn't have gotten as involved.

This blog is something I need to do... kind of like a diary, it's my therapy.